This is fun?

It's been a long time since I last gave PvP a whirl - the last time I subjected myself to that soul-crushing horror was way back in the foggy days of Burning Crusade when I was honor farming to get some bracers and a belt to get geared-up for heroics and Karazhan - so running six battlegrounds last night was not the sort of thing I would have done unless pressed to do so by extraordinary demands.

Apparently, I can't be a Chef unless I am willing to be humiliated in a three-hour tour of pointlessness.

I began the night in good spirits and with no great expectations and a fistfull of Great Feasts. I was just going to pop into the BG's, drop the food, run around, not care too much, and just get through it, just a bit of casual PvP to get my achievement, a diversion, some novelty, a spot of fun.

Yeah, right.

Alliance is jammed-up with some of the worst PvPers, slow learners and rude twits I have ever had the misfortune of interacting with. While the general population of WoW is, as I have discovered, on par the lowest form of human life, at least the Horde players can execute a strategy and coordinate their actions. Alliance is so bad that we don't even sit there screaming conflicting instructions at each other any more like we used to. No, there was really no one talking in the BG chat at all in any of the battlegrounds I was in last night, except one bright bulb who decided to lambaste his teammates for overlooking him in the pre-match buffing with a string of anti-Semitic remarks.

Heck, it might even be an improvement, really, because getting 5-capped in AB is bad enough, but getting 5-capped in AB while three guys who had spent the whole game solo assaulting the farm in uncoordinated waves bicker over which objective everyone should now zerg is really just a whole lot worse.

I was 0-6 on the night - including such ignominies as an 0-3 WSG, an AB 5-cap loss and an EotS loss where we started the match with a 13-to-1 numeric advantage. Maybe it was just a bad night, maybe I am just so bad at PvP that my very presence makes the rest of the team stupid somehow, but I rather suspect that the fact that I was the only one trying to kill the tree druid who was healing the two plate-wearers assaulting the stables and never getting below 50% health suggests that it was not, in fact, me.

Alliance sucks at PvP. Some things just never change.

With any luck I will never have to set foot in another battleground again.

Clever readers will recognize that the Dinner Impossible achievement only requires five runs to complete - turns out of can't tell the difference between Strand of the Ancients and Isle of Conquest. Now that I've run them both, I still can't really tell - one had a castle and the horde tore us up and the other had a castle and the horde tore us up. Either way, I'm glad I had a couple of extra feasts on me.

I'd like to think that things like this build character, but in the end, they really don't.